Conception

A couple weeks ago as I was drifting off to sleep I was suddenly overwhelmed by an idea for a series of paintings. Fluttering through my mind’s eye like fireflies, flashes of inspiration were making themselves known as I began drifting out of consciousness.

I have learned from experience that if I fail to get up in these crucial moments to document whatever is whispering to me, I will surely fall asleep and never think about it again. There is nothing quite like the anguish of waking up knowing you've forgotten what you promised yourself you absolutely would not forget. This grieving of potential is exactly why for the last 10 years I have always hung a white board next to my bed; so I can pull myself out of the comfort of my covers knowing I won’t have to go very far to scribble down whatever idea is suggesting itself to me at that moment. 

The book The War of Art explores a variety of concepts regarding discipline and routine in creative practices, largely focusing on how people often “wait for inspiration to strike”. Steven Pressfield encourages readers to maintain diligent and consistent creative practices, regardless if they “feel inspired” or not, in order to create the space for ideas to present themselves; mirroring the sentiment of “if you build it they will come.”

I’ve found Pressfield’s book helpful in offering motivating perspectives on the struggles of artists’ block but, I have to say, sometimes inspiration truly does strike at the most unexpected moments. I think that’s what’s beautiful about it all. Yes, you must create the space and hold the intention but you are not always going to be operating in that space when inspiration strikes. You must remain open. This truth is what motivated me to keep my white boards close, to develop the habit of always having a writing utensil and sketchbook on my person, and to keep receipts and scrap papers in my glove box - just in case. Sure, a note in your phone might just have to do the trick occasionally, but putting pen to paper is much more powerful than typing on a keyboard in my opinion. You never know when you’re going to need to create a visual to really get the point across to your future self.

The photo above is of my aforementioned white board; you’ll see it’s covered in semi-legible descriptions of a fleeting idea. These drifting thoughts scribbled in green dry erase marker are what solidified my departure from landscapes, and my intention to return to an exploration of the nuanced and lawless world of abstract & expressive arts.

Since wearily documenting these bits and pieces of a concept I’ve begun diving into abstraction again; exploring mark making, color choices, mediums, scale, and the impact of intention on expression in contrast to expressing through a pure flow state. And wow, it has been such a a cathartic experience. I feel connected to a part of my psyche that hasn’t been visited in a long time, a piece of myself that I’ve missed without being able to place what I was missing.

above: current work in progress, exploring mark making and color theory.

This new exploration feels like coming home, and I’m so happy to be back. That’s really all I have to share for now; excitement for what’s to come and gratitude for the practices and habits I’ve developed and held for so many years. All while reveling in the beauty and the struggle of being a creatively inclined human who can’t help but make things. The lows are heartbreakingly low, the highs are high as hell, and the in between is relentlessly confusing; but it’s all beautiful. 

Thank you for reading, for being a witness, I appreciate and love you for that. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d ever like to talk about abstraction, any of the “isms”, intention, expression, or just about the trip of being a human, creative or otherwise. I would be thrilled to delve into the why of it all with you. 

Until next time,

xoxo

Amanda